Friday, December 20, 2013

Twas the night before Christmas… EMS Style

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a pager was chirping, not one single run.
The keys in the truck were hung there with care
In hopes that no calls were soon for us there.

The providers were nestled all snug in their lounge chairs,
While visions of donuts danced below their hairs.
And Sally in her uniform, and I in my cap
Had just settled down for a very short cat-nap.

When out o’er the airwaves the tones they did cackle
We sprang from our beds to see what incident we must tackle
Away to the ambulance I flew like a flash
Disconnected the shore line and prepared to make a dash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of black ice on the road where we must go.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.

With a little old driver so lively and quick
I new in a moment it must be St. Nick
More rapid than eagles his courses they came,
And he whistled and shouted and above our siren proclaimed!

Now Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid! On Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now dash away!  Dash away! Dash away all!

As snowflakes that under our roto-chains fly.
Met with obstacles and caused a bunch of traffic ties.
So up to the house-top like air medical they flew,
With the sleigh full of bandages, and pre-hospital supplies too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard with a thud
The falling and shouting that left Santa in blood.
As I reached for my scissors and was cutting his red suit,
He grabbed for my hand and said, “Don’t cut those boots!”
  
He was dressed in five layers, from his head to his foot
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
The bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,
Were now lying, broken and crushed in his sack.

His pupils were PEARL! His dimples a bit sunken!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose it was broken
He drooled from his mouth and in pain he did holler
So we packaged him up on a long board and c-collar!

We took away his pipe he held tight in his teeth,
But he fought for the last puff and gasped for his breath.
He had a pale face and a tender hard belly,
His pulse it was weak and a little bit thready.

He was chubby and plump, a pathetic broken elf,
And I winced when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A grab of his hand and a squeeze of my glove
Soon gave me a shudder, “I’m caring for Santa that I love!”

He spoke not a word, so I wrote down his score
I took out the IV kit and inserted a large bore.
And calling the comm center I screamed for a chopper,
“It’s Santa I said, come quick as a Black Friday shopper!”

The bird it did land and the team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard them exclaim as they flew out of sight
“Forget Christmas you all, Santa’s not had a good night!”
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